Should Children be Invited or "Banned" from your wedding?

This is a very controversial issue. I have been seeing post after post of how people should “Ban” children from weddings in order to cut costs. There is no easy answer to this question. As a mother of 4 children, I would say they are a part of the family. However, not every couple is the same. I have many friends who do not have, nor want children. For them, the answer would be definitely NOT.

According to the United States Census Report in 2012

·        * 66 % of households in 2012 were family households, down from 81 percent in 1970.

·         *Between 1970 and 2012, the share of households that were married couples with children under 18 decreased from 40 % to 20 %.

·         *The proportion of one-person households increased by 10 % between 1970 and 2012, going from 17 % to 27 %. 

*     *Between 1970 and 2012, the average number of people per household declined from 3.1 to 2.6.

                                             ~Retrieved October 28, 2014 from: http://www.census.gov/prod/2013pubs/p20-570.pdf

Simply stated less people are having children.

Here are some questions to ask to help choose if your wedding should allow children.

1. Do you have children?

2. What are your family morals? Are you more of a drink it up person or a family person?

3. Do any of the top people on your list guest list have children? How do you feel they would respond if their children were not invited?

4. Is there a babysitter option so kids can go to ceremony and reception, but have a sitter for an after hour party? Is this within your budget?

If you have decided to have children, or would like to include children but you are afraid it could get too expensive, try some of these ideas that are sure to please the whole family!

 For a DIY 10 foot long banana split visit this website.

Wedding Problems? Turning Tragedy into Comedy

We all should know "Murphy's Rule of Thumb": "If it could go wrong, it will". But we don't want it to happen on our wedding day. We plan, we delegate, we pay people to make it perfect. But how should we look at it when something does go wrong? Most people don't even consider that we have a choice in perspectives when things go wrong, but that is what this blog is about. Learning to turn our frowns upside down. (Hopefully)     (:   :)

Years ago I heard a quote which has stuck with me ever since. “One man’s tragedy is another person’s comedy”. While this seemed morbid at the time, through the years, I have come to understand my English teacher’s perception. The idea is that when something tragic happens, others may find it funny and hopefully after our grieving period we are able to look back and laugh too. One time I had the brakes on my bike replaced. Later that day I was clipping along (going downhill) and had to stop for a car turning into a parking lot. I only had front brakes and as I applied the brakes (forgetting they just got fixed), the seat of the bike rose above my head and flipped completely over. I was lucky enough not to get hurt, while people around me were rushing to see if I was okay, all I could do was laugh hysterically because as the seat came over my head (in what seemed like slow motion) I was picturing how funny it would look on video. I laugh each time I remember that moment.

I feel that sharing these things can help future brides in 2 ways.

1. To prepare back up plans or to proper responses to the what if’s.

2. Also in understanding the amount of stress we build while planning this very important day, hearing these stories might give us a giggle and help us to realize that some of the littler things that go wrong are the moments we can laugh at in the future. Of course there is always the possibility of something happening that we would never think funny, but let us not make mountains out of molehills.

Starting with stories below, I would love to hear feedback from all you about if something went wrong with your wedding, what, how did you feel, and what advice would you give brides to be.

~Candle Unity wedding where the candle wax ended up on dresses

~Speedo old man flirting in the pictures of a beach wedding         

~Cocktail hour before wedding resulted in drunk bridesmaids

~Dye in hair of groom running down his face during ceremony

~Forgotten and/or dropped rings during ceremony

~DJ never showed up

~Unrehearsed ceremony where father didn’t know what to do when he “gave his daughter away”, so he improvised with a high five to the son in law.

Now it is time to hear your stories. I look forward to reading them and hope all the future brides do to!  

Choosing the right Wedding Season for you

Why is it important to brainstorm and choose which month and season you want to get married before you set your date? There are several reasons for this. It aligns with budget, flowers, and themes. 

If you have a smaller budget, it would be beneficial to find when the off season in the area you are choosing to get married. In Montana and states which have cold weather, the off season is during the winter (minus Christmas). The benefits of off season weddings are twofold. 1. Wedding retailers are often so busy in the main wedding season they charge more to cover expenses related to extra help and overtime. So planning a wedding during the off-season saves retailers money which is then passed down to you. 2. Planning in the off season also gives cake designers and floral shops more time to give you their best  “QUALITY” work. 

Will it rain or pass over?

Themes play a large part of which season you should choose. Check out the photo to the right to see the worry on the bride's face as she checks to see what might happen during the ceremony. The season and weather patterns will determine what costs and types of venue you should invest in, for rain, snow, hail, or other natural phenomenon that could stomp on outdoor ceremonies. Check out the left 2 photos and imagine which themes are best in spring, summer, fall, and winter.

One factor in choosing which season or month you would like to have your wedding which many people never realize until it is too late is what types of flowers would you like? If a specific flower is one of the top three on your most important list, do your research at least a year in advance so you know what month they are available. Some flowers are year round and readily available like Roses, Gerber Daisies, and Orchids. Other flowers, like birds of paradise are available only during certain seasons. While a few flowers like Sunflowers are available during most of the year except the dead of the winter.

It is important to start checking with florists to find when the time will be right for the floral arrangements of your choice. 

Imagine your dream wedding, will it be indoors, outdoors, winter, summer, spring, or fall? How do you imagine your dream day? Thoughts? Worries? Check back next Wednesday to hear about last minute wedding problems and how retailers have solved them to save the day!

Prioritizing Your Wedding

After your engagement, how do you prioritize what needs to be done first? The first five things that should be done include:

1. Announcing your engagement. Many couples choose to announce to their parents 1^st. Afterwards, they can announce at a dinner party, via invitations, or through a newspaper.

2. Dreaming or brainstorming your wedding with your fiancé. What have each of you always wanted?

3. Budget. Now that you have what each has dreamed of, check that to your budget. Talk with both sets of parents first to see how they will be contributing. Then decide on a realistic budget. While the average wedding costs $30,000. This statistic is based on several $100,000 weddings. About 50% of the weddings in the United States cost $15,000. You can visit Bankrate.com to help figure out how much you need to save monthly based on how long you are choosing to wait to get married. The example I tried was $15,000 over 5 years. The calculator told me I needed to save 248.42/month in order to save $15,000 for my wedding.

 http://www.bankrate.com/calculators/savings/savings-goal-calculator-tool.aspx

4. While you may not have the specific date, brainstorm and choose a month or season. The reasoning is to help set the theme of your wedding. It is also good to get in touch with flower shops where you will be getting married and find what the flowers of the season. If a specific flower is more important to you than the season, choose to get married when the flower is in season!

5. Create your guest list. You and your fiancé brainstorm who you would like to invite. Also have both sets of parents brainstorm. This will create three lists combined to be your initial list. A typical list has 4 categories:

                A. Family and closest friends that MUST be at wedding

                B. Extended Family (aunts, uncles, etc) and Extended friends (high school class mates)

                C. Co-workers, Neighbors

                D. Easy to eliminate people like parent’s friends who have not been in touch for more than 6     months.

* And last but not least, make sure you plan into your wedding budget what you feel are the 3 most important aspects first, then let the other things fall into place! So if perfect pictures are most important budget pictures first. Be honest, sincere, and firm. Everything will be OKAY!

Wedding Budget

 In 2014 the average couple spent $30,000 on their wedding. When this is the biggest best day of your life, trying to manage $30,000 and keep within a budget can be frustrating. Most couples make the common mistake of budgeting by reaction of realizing they have already contracted certain entertainment and venues and realizing they do not have much money left of their budget to prepare for the rest of the wedding.
There is a simple way to budget your money.
1. Decide what you will spend on your dress and honeymoon. Then take your remaining budget and divide it by the number of guests you think you will have.
$30,000/ 100people = $300 per person (PP)
Then divide that figure by ½.
$300/2= 150 per person.
This number ($150pp) is your budget for Venue Catering, Staff, Alcohol, Tables, Chairs, Rentals as well as tax and service on the all of the above.  There are 2 types of venue, 1 is all inclusive including all the above, 2. Is Exclusive and only rents you the space for you to fill as you please. If you choose All-inclusive be sure your per person figure is $130 before Tax and Tip. If you choose Exclusive, don’t book the venue until you have figured the cost per person for all the other expenses on food, bar, staffing, and rentals from your caterer.
The remaining 50% of your budget per person is dedicated to the rest of the day.  You should decide what is really important to you to gauge your budget priorities. Here is a tentative list of items which people use to fill their wedding day and % used when including a little of everthing.

Band and Entertainment (about 11%),

Flowers (10%)

Photography and Video (10-12%)

Lighting (5%)

Stationery (2.5%)

Cake (2.5%)

Transportation (1%)

Day-of Coordinator (5%) 

Gratuities (1%)

And any surplus should sit in an emergency fund until the wedding is over. 

Your Wedding Budget Worksheet

My Total Budget ___________

Expenses	% of total budget	Your estimate	What you actually spent
Ceremony Location fee, officiant fee, marriage license, musician's fees, ring pillows	3%	______	______
Reception Reception Site, Food, Drinks, Rentals, Cake, Favors	48%	______	______
Attire Dress, Headpiece/veil, undergarments and hosiery, shoes, accessories, jewelry, hair and makeup, Groom's Tuxedo or Suit, shoes, bow tie, cuff links, studs, suspenders	10%	______	______
Rings His and her rings, engraving	3%	______	______
Flowers Ceremony, bride's bouquet, maid-of-honor and bridesmaid bouquets, corsages and boutonnieres, centerpieces, flower-girl basket	8%	______	______
Music Ceremony Musicians, Band and/or DJ, cocktail hour musicians, sound system rental	8%	______	______
Photography Photographer and Videographer's fees, albums, additional prints, disposable cameras for candids	12%	______	______
Transportation Transportation for wedding party, guest shuttle and/or parking attendants	2%	______	______
Stationery Invitations, response cards, thank you notes, postage, calligraphy, guest book	3%	______	______
Gifts Bridesmaid and groomsmen, parents, welcome baskets for out-of-town guests.	3%	______	______